Celebrating My Mother's Life, 26 Years After Her Death

26 years ago on a Friday the 13th, I was at a rehearsal for a Christmas play at Jimmy Swaggart Bible College in Baton Rouge, Louisiana when the Dean of Male Students interrupted us to escort me back to his office. Nothing could have prepared me for that call from my sister, informing me that our mother, Norma Jean "Stormy" Falor, had died.

She was a fighter. She was a crier, She waited tables to put herself through secretary school after dropping out of high school to elope with her sweetheart in the Air Force and then facing the disappointment of divorce It was as a waitress that she met my father. After getting a break to join the steno pool at Toledo Edison, she worked her way up all the way to Executive Secretary to the President. (All while helping my dad produce his Masters thesis.) When John Williamson would fret and fume over corporate difficulties, she would take him by the arm and lead him to the glass walls of his 15th-story office, point to the streets of downtown Toledo below, and say, "Look at all those people walking around down there, Mr. Williamson, just as if the world weren't coming to an end!"

When I was born, the doctor had to inform her of my heart defect, warning her that I might not make it to infancy when surgery would be possible. She looked him in the eye and said, "Bet me!" She made many mistakes, some of which (drinking and smoking) drove me from her home and put her in an early grave. But none of that can ever blot out my admiration of her, my gratitude for all she was and did for me, or the sweet sorrow I feel that she did not live to see me come into my own and lead an extraordinary life.

I've lived more years, now, without her in this world than with her. Yet the memories and the love remain strong. I know she would be proud of me. The occasion of today's anniversary gives me the opportunity to express publicly, "I'm proud of you, Mom and I celebrate the brief, dazzling spark that was your life."

The End of an Era: RIP Zig Ziglar

"You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people to get what they want."
-Zig Ziglar

With Zig Ziglar's death at age 86 today, an era has ended in the Personal Development world. Zig, Mary Kay Ash, and Jim Rohn were all inspired by a man named John Earl Shoaff who dazzled many with his wealth, lifestyle, and philosophy back in the 1960s. All three became inspirations to millions and earned great wealth as motivational speakers in the decades that followed.

Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup book series), Brian Tracy and literally hundreds of others who have tried their hand at motivational speaking or writing got their initial impetus from Zig, Mary Kay, and Jim. I myself owe a big debt of gratitude to Mr. Rohn for the difference his words made in my life. It is because of him that I became serious about journaling, goal setting, and taking responsibility for my own success in life regardless of upbringing or circumstances.

When I first heard Jim Rohn speak in 1993, my financial world was so small that I thought $20,000 per year was "making it". Although I was very bright at other subjects, understanding the concept that 'learning new skills that are in higher demand can lead to a high income' eluded me. I was waiting for God to bless me, the economy to get better, a relative to help me out, etc, etc. I guess God did bless me the day I heard Rohn say,

"Whatever happens in life happens to us all. Circumstances are like the wind that blows - you cannot control the wind. But your personal philosophy is like the set of the sail on the boat of your life. Don't wish for a better wind to blow, wish for the wisdom to set a better sail."

It took me a few years to get into this kind of thinking. My first, early goals were very timid. But then I got serious about learning skills and setting income goals (before I was even employed, other than as a waiter while going back to college). By 1997, I was making $32,000 per year. By 2000, I was making over $65,000 per year. Then over $80,000 in 2005 and in 2007, I crossed the six figure mark in anual salary (not including benefits) and have been in that vicinity ever since.

Did I get lucky? You bet I did. Nobody "called" the Internet boom back when I decided to go back to school for computer science in 1995. But there were enough hints of what was to come just by noticing the number of help-wanted ads in that field. That's where my intelligence helped out. But the fact is, I wouldn't even have thought to look at those ads or to re-train for a whole new field of work, if Jim Rohn hadn't spoken into my life.

Sometimes I wonder who will take up the 'influence' mantle of John Earl Shoaff for the people born in the '80s and '90s. Who will be the next generation of voices, perhaps inspired by Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Brian Tracy, Mark Victor-Hansen, or even Rhonda Byrne, Deepak Chopra, or Wayne Dyer? Maybe in the Internet age, with TED talks, blogs, YouTube lessons, and so on, a new, a more democratic day has dawned with fewer motivational "stars". That's fine. As long as the message gets out which challenges people similarly to these words, by John Earl Shoaff:

"Lets not be moons, the reflector of light. Lets be suns, the creator of light - the creator of ideas. Because we all have the capacity."

Journey Within: Wilderness Getaway 2008

Five years ago, I went on a week-long trip to Hawaii and took the journals I had written with me. (five years' worth) I spent my days reading my life like a book, noticing tendencies about myself, and distilling the insights into a foundation for intentional growth that propelled me in in a very positive direction.  18 months after that trip, it was hard to recognize me as the same guy in the areas of self-worth, ambition, and tolerance.  For example, I no longer approached dating out of fear of loneliness or a position of need.  My deeply felt position had become, "I am loveable, and I generously share my loveableness with others."  The results in my life were dramatic, from income to relationships to my sense of purpose and beyond.

I now have five more years of journals in my library.  I decided at the beginning of this week to get away for eight days, starting Sunday Sept. 28, and repeat this process. This time I'm renting a remote cabin in the mountains of West Virginia.  No Internet, no cell phone reception.  Just what doctor ordered.

Back in 1992, I heard Jim Rohn talk about journaling.  He said, "Too many people try to just get through the day.  I've got something better for you to go for: learn to get from the day. Capture the insights and ideas.  Don't trust your memory."  I can be a bit slow on the uptake (as can we all) so I didn't formally start keeping a journal until 1998.  In fact, my first journal entry went something like this: "I probably won't keep this up, but here's what happened today..."  I've since learned not to dismiss a day of small beginnings in my life.  Starting journaling earlier would definitely be one of those things I would counsel my younger self to.

My dearly beloved friends and family think this trip is about my next career step, and to be fair, that's how I've presented it to them.  But quite beyond that, I foresee it as a launch pad for areas of personal growth I can't even imagine as I write this.  Wiping the white board clean and starting fresh with a clean set of markers.